Born To Shine

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Nelson Mandela


My sweet Sister In-Law is having a giveaway on her blog! I would love to win. :) its awesome! Anyway, go sheck it out at her blog site, twoellie.blogspot.com
Have a great day!!! :)



How He Loves. :)

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
and how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
and If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t the have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way... that..

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,Oh how He loves.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so.

Undeserved Mercy :)

Last night as I was rushing around town trying to find a place that had a western union that was open, I found myself panicking as I saw red and blue lights flashing in my rearview mirrow. My heart was pounding. I was breathing short. I was shaking. And getting red spots all over my face, neck and chest. I was completely terrified. I pulled over and rolled down the window. "Can you tell me why I pulled you over tonight?" I honestly couldnt think of what I had done wrong, so I sheepishly said, "Was I speeding?" The officer said, "No, your lights aren't on." I thought to myself "O CRAP!!!!" I was in such a hurry that I forgot about my lights. "Have you been drinking tonight?" ..."No sir, I have not been drinking." I proceeded to tell him how I was running around trying to send some money for an orphanage I sponsor in Africa. My voice was shaky and weak. He asked for my license, insurance and registration. I gave it to him. He said "Okay young lady, I'm not going to write you a ticket tonight. I just have to put your information in the system and I will give you a warning." I lost it. I started crying hysterically. I said audibly and loudly "THANK YOU JESUS!!!" I was praying and asking God for help, and I got it. :) It reminded me of how God has given us a second chance at life. And many second chances, everytime we fail...He gives us a new chance. I was given mercy that I clearly did not deserve, the cop had every right to write me a ticket, but he chose to simply write me a warning and give me a second chance. Thats how God works in us. Through Jesus, we get a second chance. Its like when we don't have Jesus, we are driving in the dark without the lights on...its dangerous and you cant see where you are going. But when Jesus enters, He turns on the lights and makes it clear the path you are to go, and gives you...a second chance. Mercy is not something we deserve, but through the blood of Christ we all have access to it. Hallelujah. Just like this officer of the law gave me a second chance, God will always be there with open arms offering to pick us up and give us another chance. :)


Feed the Children

Dear Friends,

I write this with a broken heart. I talked to my friend, Nelson, who runs an organization called Save The AIDS Orphans in Uganda, Africa. He runs a orphan home called Agape Childrens Home. There are 67 precious children staying there. They have completely run out of food and funds for food. No firewood. They have nothing. These children have stolen my heart and I want to take care of them. But, with my unemployed status, I cannot send the money. I will send a very small amount which will get them food for 2 days, but it is not enough. James 1:27 commands us to take care of the widow and the orphan. WE here in america have the resources and its as simple as sending money. Could you find it in your heart to give, if only just a little bit? Anything can help. They need food for the precious children. If you can and are willing, I will give you the info on how you can help by sending money via Western Union. Please pray for my friend and the orphans. Please help. They need it...soon.

Love and Partering in Christ to fulfill James 1:27,


Thursday 13 ~ 1st Edition.

I'm back in to the blogging world. :) Here's my first thirteen.

13 Things About Me (since Im new..so you can get to know me)

1. I'm a total dork. Yes, thats right. I love to be loud and do wierd things and I dont care what people think or say. I just love to have fun. :)

2. I am Bilingual. :) I speak spanish and english. Spanish is the love of my life. I learned it in high school, it is God's gift to me, and my talent. I go to a spanish church where I am one of about 5 white people there. I LOVE it. :) they're my family in the truest sense of the word.

3. I'm a writer. :) i love to write. and im good at it. My high school english teacher told me I am one of the best writer's he has had in his 18 years at the school. I write too much, i think. :) i carry my journal with me everywhere I go.

4. I am a texting fiend. Yes. :) i love being connected with the world and all my friends. an average month is usually about 6,000 texts.

5. I am madly in love with my Bridegroom. :) He is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. He tells me I'm beautiful. He tells me He loves me. He brings me flowers. He shows me the most beautiful things there are. He whispers sweet little somethings into my ears. He holds my hand, and wraps me in His arms. :) He is the most beautiful thing to see and hear. And, His precious Name is Jesus Christ. :)

6. I am addicted to chocolate. Yep. :) its delicious. My motto is theres nothing that God and a little chocolate cant fix. Teehee.

7. I am pretty much always listening to music. I LOVE music. :) it just makes me feel good. I recently deleted all the secular music from my zune and now all I listen to are worship songs. :) im finding that im really not missing out on anything. I just want to be comsumed by Jesus.

8. I'm a colorado girl to the core. :) I love all things outdoors. I love to hike the most difficult and crazy trail we have on our beautiful mountains. I love camping even though I dont go much. I love off-roading! Its the greatest!! Except, sad fact....I have lived here almost my whole life and have never been skiing or snowboarding. haha. :(

9. I love to read. I am pretty much always in the middle of a book, probably more than one at the same time. I just love learning, and gaining knowledge from what people write. :)

10. I have always been kind of a tomboy. :) ive never really been the super girly type...ever. Ive always been a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Never wear skirts or dresses, well...rarely. I like to get dirty, I'm not all into my looks like a lot of girls are. I have always made better friends with the boys than I have with other girls.

11. I love the HEAT!! :) I really hate being cold. Its miserable. I would rather be miserably hot that miserably cold. Like my sister and I went to florida a month ago and the day we went to Disney was the hottest day we were there. Yes, it was hot. It was miserably. I sweated buckets....but I enjoyed every minute of it. :) i love hot.

12. God has set me free from a whole load of junk. :) you name it, ive been there. Self-Injury, Bulimia, Self Starvation, Depression, Drug Addiction, Suicidal-ness. Yep...ive been in all of it. And Jesus set me free from ALL of it. :) im the most free ive ever been!!!

13. My heart is completely and 100% broken and for orphans. :) i feel like there is a huge and special mandate on my life to take care of orphans. I want to see them fulfill their God given destinies. Thee are 143 Million orphans in our world. God has called me to take care of them and be His hands and feet that rescue them. My life mission is James 1:27.



This weekend, I witnessed a miracle. Here's the story...a little over a month ago the high school group at my church started a mission called Heartwork: Uganda. The challenge was to raise 60,000 dollars and anything up to that amount would be matched by an incredible man named Kirby. He told us the we were the army God had told him about 25 years ago. 8 weeks later..._Tag had raised $67,o000 dollars and 4 orphan homes have been built and many many lives rescued. It was so amazing to see the students I love giving sacrificially, and a group of high school and junior high kids raised that much money on their own. Incredible. Well, this weekend at the Desperation Conference, Pastor Brent showed a video of the story and talked about it at the end of his sermon. He challenged the students to ask God what He wanted them to give and get ready to give that night to build another orphan home. The goal was $15,000 dollars, and Kirby was going to match the other 15 since it costs $30,000 to build a home. (he did this at the June conference where in a spontaneous offering, no planning, we raised 16 thousand and one home would be built.) Well it came time for the offering and we sang a song called Light Up The World, masses of people poured to the front of the auditorium to give their offering to God. This was true worship. At the end of the night, David Perkins came up and announced the result of the offering. In the course of about 15 minutes, 4,000 high school, college and junior high kids gave $44,000 dollars. Yes, I said FOURTY FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! The next day another person gave $1,000, so plus the $15,000 from Kirby...we are going to be able to fund not just one, but 2 orphan homes in uganda!!! It was truely a miracle. In one night, to raise that amount of support...it was a God thing. It was incredible to see so many students give of themselves to pour into the lives of children on the other side of the world. It was the most selfless thing I have ever witnessed. Even in my own life, I had just gotten paid to water plants of a friend who was is out of town, and God challenged me to give it all. It was a work God did in my heart, and I now have to trust Him even more to provide all that I need until I find a job. You should have seen the celebration that rose up in that place!! Everyone started freaking out, and dancing, and jumping around, and screaming at the top of their lungs, many of us were just weeping out of joy. It was power in its fullest. Kids would be rescued from the injustice of being an orphan. From starvation, unclean water, homelessness, and being forced into sex slavery. The will be rescued!! And last night (saturday), Kirby came up and said that while he was in Uganda 25 years ago holding a 3 year old girl tht had been raped, God spoke to him and said "I am raising up intercessors. In the future, you will see armies of intercessors and justice seekers rise up." Then, he said that while he was in Uganda last week, God gave him 2 questions to ask the Desperation tribe. 1. If he could get it approved and cleared with the authorities, would we get 1,000 youth groups to build at least one orphan home? and 2. Will you get the attention of the nation and the world with your selflessness and turn their eyes to God? IF we answered them right, which definitely happened...God said to Him right there, "Through these people I am going to rescue 143 Million Destinies." There are 143 Million Orphans in the world...and God is getting ready for a movement to rescue them!! IT was one of the most incredible things I have ever witnessed. God is incredible. Lets stand up and be the hands and feet of Jesus, let the church be the church. Let's rock!!



This weekend at the Desperation Conference I heard a man named Tom Davis speak, I got his new novel, "Scared", because I have read his other books and loved them. This was on saturday. I just finished reading the book and I am crying uncontrolably...not just crying, like the kind where its hard to breathe and it just doesn't stop. My heart literally feels pain, like it was being ripped in several places. And now I cant sleep. In this story, there is an american photo journalist who goes to Africa on an assignment to capture photos and a story to redeem his career. There is also a young girl named Adanna, she is orphaned anonly 12 years old left to parent her 2 younger siblings. She suffers horrendous abuse and situations that are so foreign to americans. This little girl is my new hero. I think the reason it is so deeply disturbing to the reader is that the story is very close to the facts of a young girls life, and there are so many children that have similar stories. Of starving and going days, weeks without food. Of abuse and being raped. Of being orphaned by their parents who either left and or died of AIDS. Being infected themselves. Or being completel vulnerable and unable to protect themselves. I found myself weeping as I read her story. Injustice. That is the word I would use to describe her life and what she endured. But along with the injustice...you also see the redemptive power of God. His love and grace for us. And His hope that He gives to us. This story has moved me so incredibly deeply and touched corners and places in my heart that I didnt even know existed. I found myself in Africa everytime I picked up the book, it was so real. I saw the kids, the scenery, the horror and the hope. I found myself on a roller coaster of emotions. Sadness, laughter, anger, fire, depression, hopeless, helpless, deeply grieved...but more than anything I am stired to step out of that comfortable american buble that so many of us live in. Im so sick of it. When is the church going to rise up and be the church?? To be the hands and feet of Jesus in our world. We need to stop ignoring this reality and go do something. I told my friend Edith....we are going to Uganda next summer to work in an orphan home and help the natives. We are going to try and make it a trip for our whole youth group to go on. I am going to get my sunday school kids to raise money to give to the author's organization to help feed the starving people. It is .14 cents for one meal...we could help feed a lo of people if we try. We have to do something. We are crying out for a move of God and for Him to do something about it while He is up in heaven crying for a move of man and for us to go and DO something. So why not? Like one of my girls said when I told her about the food idea, "Lets rock!"


Broken Hearts Suck.

Hi! Well....I havent written in a couple of months, sorry. I know its lame but ive been busy and insanely busy too. SO much has happened though. A LOT. Well...ya know that boy that I wrote about in one of my last posts? He turned out to be a jerk, and he dumped me and broke my heart really bad. It sucked. Hardcore sucked. He did it over texting too which was really really low and immature and hurt cause I never got to say goodbye or get any kind of closure. That was on January 20th. I was depressed about it for a few weeks, then I got really pissed off, and now I'm in the missing him stage where I think about it a lot and everytime I see him it hurts because we were really good friends before we started dating. There is a soul tie established...which seems impossible to break. Because we shared so much of our emotions, we shared our life stories, we shared physical closeness and kisses, and through many many conversations and much time spent together a soul tie was formed. And thats why it hurts so badly. But I learned a lot. I will be wiser and more careful next time I enter into a relationship. Its not something to take lightly or play around with, its a serious matter and should be treated so. Broken hearts suck, its probably one of the worst pains one could ever experience. But one thing God told me at the beginning of my brokenness is this..."I am a jealous God and consuming fire. If you let something get to be too important to you, I will take it away. If something gets in the way of your love for me, I will consume it." So...its not completely his fault (mostly though), I did let him get to be too important to me...and that was stupid. I feel badly about that. But he instigated it. He lied to me and used me and severely hurt me. I dont really know how to feel about him now. I still like him, but then sometimes I really cant stand him and get pissed off just thinking about him. But then again, he's the love of my life and I miss him. I'm just confused. I kow God has someone soooo much better for me...but I miss him. I dunno. This sucks. I'm working through it and trying to move on and surge forward. But its hard.



Nuff' said in the title.