12.29.2008

Redemption

I have recently experienced what it is like to be set free, once again, from the chains that the enemy wants so badly to keep us under. These were things that I never thought I would struggle with, but for about 4 months, I did. I had a 4 month battle with depression, cutting, and Bulimia. I gave in to the lies that I had been hearing my entire life. You know the ones, or maybe the ones you hear are different. The ones I have heard, and bought into said..."You are fat." "You are ugly" "You are worthless" "You need to punish yourself for what a failure you are." "You do not deserve love from any person or from God" "You deserve this." "You've gotten yourself to this point." "You dont deserve to live." Well for my whole life I have heard lies, and finally and subcontiously began to believe them. The beliefs started with small thoughts, to obsessive thoughts. From small words, to where everything that came out of my mouth was negative. The depression cam first. It started small, but progressed to the point where I was always down and living in darkness. The cutting followed. I had so much emotional pain from my past and what had been going on that I needed an outlet to escape it. So I turned to a razor blade. I used that to feel physical pain, so that I could escape the emotional turmoil. It hurt and I have scars on my arms and legs from what I did, but I thought I deserved it. That somehow I had brought it upon myself. It was the only way I knew how to handle things, and when things got tough, or I needed to escape...the razor was always there for me. Then came the eating disorder. It started with eating less, watching what I was consuming and constantly thinking about my weight. It progressed to not eating at all, starving myself. I once lost 10 pounds in a week without even trying..that was how little I was eating. I could go days without eating. My schedule was so packed that I wasnt home a lot for dinner so I could get away with it. Then when I was at home and had to eat, I resorted to throwing up. Binging and purging. That, like everything else, started small. Then, it got to the point where everything i ate cam back up. Wheather I was at home, work, church...wherever, nothing I consumed stayed down. I felt guilty eating and it always came back up. I was a full blown bulimia, captive to my disease and couldnt see a way out. It only got worse. For the last month, I think I kept about 2 meals down. I was sick, and tired and spiritually dying. Well, I was talking to my friend Amy from my spanish church, and told her everything....I dont know why, seeing as how shameful it was. BUt I did. She told my spanish pastor, Ivette, (who was also like a mentor, and an old teacher). And Ivette said she was getting me help at New Life Church. I freaked out. Well, I had to withdraw myself from _Tag adyult leadership so that I could get my life together. I was being forced into facing these issues and confronting them, but also the deeer issuse that were causing them. These depper issues were issues of pain, rejection and abandonment, and forgiveness, and insecurities. It was hell, for a month I was a complete emotional wreck, and God was breaking me completely. The people I wanted to be there couldnt be there, I had to learn to depend 100% on God and to lean on Him. He tied the hands of my allies and they couldnt fight for or with me. I couldnt talk to them or go to them for help, it had to be totally God. It got worse before it got better. I had to tell my mom, and she seemed to be overwhelmed and wanted it to just go away...but for me it was a process to freedom. I began to eat again, even small amounts were hard to keep down. I felt sick eating food, then I always felt sick because of the vomiting and my digestive system was all jacked up. I hated it. The suicidal part of my past came up, there were times where I wanted to run in front of a car or swallow a whole bottle of pills...but i ran to God. I wasnt going to give up. I had seen God work before in my life and I knew that freedom could come again. Everyday i had to fall at His feet. Everytime I failed or gave in, I had to let Him pick me back up. It was a journey of learning to trust Him and letting Him fight for me and help me to overcome. About 2 weeks ago at a _Tag prayer meeting, God spoke to me. They were playing the song "Your Love Is Extravagent." He was speaking His love over me, and speaking freedom. He told me I was beautiful, and was worth His Son's blood. That I didnt have to be captive to these issues any longer. He took me to the verse that sys "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." And then He gave it to me. He gave me freedom. He said no more, and those things that had held me captive just...died. And I came back to life. He breathed His life into me again. He is incredible! I am free from the depression, the cutting addiction, and the bulimia. Yes, sometimes I still struggle with it, it tries to come back up...but I just have to fight it, and let God fight for me and I know I can overcome. I encourage you, don't limit God the way I did or put Him in a box. There is NOTHING that is too big for Him to handle, or to deeply rooted for Him to fix or remove. I've worked through all these issues with Him and he gave me a new heart, thats healed and whole. If there is something you need freedom from, His love is there, His hope is there, His arms are open...He's just waiting for you to run to Him. Its your call...but let me tell you; freedom is so much more enjoyable than being in chains. And He did it all. Please, let Him do it for you too.

Lifehouse 'Everything" Skit

This is basically the story of my life put into a 4 minute drama....Its incredibly powerful and gives me chills, and makes me cry every time.

12.18.2008

My New Blog!

I just created a new blog called Kasey's African Adventure. There I will be sharing with you my preparation, and then the stories from my 3 months I am going to spend in Uganda next year. I hope you check it out!! Here's the link: www.kaseyinafrica.blogspot.com

12.17.2008

So There's This Boy....

And he makes my head spin around! He can make me smile more than anyone possibly can. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel wanted, desired and beautiful. He loves God with everything inside of him. He's adorable, and really handsome. He's so much fun to be around. He says some of the most amazing things. He's the perfect gentleman...opens doors, gives me his jacket, pulls out chairs, and serves me. He shows his love for God in the way he treats others. He lifts me up when I am down. Lets me know that I can do it and believes in me. He brings out the best in me. He doesn't care about my flaws and accepts and actually likes me just the way I am. He likes me...a lot!! He thinks I worth investing in and being with, more than other girls. He's deep and profound. He understands me more than anyone else and I can be myself around him. I can't get him out of my head. He isnt what I would have imagined (I've always wanted a tall hispanic man), but he is everything I've ever dreamed of. He's probably the most amazing guy I've ever known. And guess what....he chose to pursue me!! It feels so amazing to be pursued, wanted and loved by someone of the opposite sex! I think it was a total God thing and He orquestrated it all. All we ever intended to be was just friends, but apparently God wanted more than that. We're in deep like with each other. We've decided that were going to date, but we're waiting on Gods timing...which He has said when I get back from Africa in July is the right time. Waiting is the hardest part, since we know where we are going and what we are going to be. We're both ready for it though, and really excited! Its gonna be fun, and a new adventure for both of us as we try to figure out what we are doing and how to be in a relationship. We're best friends right now and can only get closer from here. =) He is incredible. He's my boy and I'm his girl...well not officially, but in 6 months! YAY!!! He's a year younger than I am, like half an inch shorter, and completely amazing!

12.09.2008

Remembering 12.09.07

Today is the one year anniversary of the shooting at my church in Colorado Springs. I still remember that day so clearly, but yet still cant believe that it has already been a year. I want there when it happened, my family left just about 5 minuted before the first shots were fired. My sister called me, crying almost panicked and saying "Are you okay?! There was a gunman that opened fire at the church! Where are ou guys, are you all safe?" We were at the grocery store, and I remember having a complete emotional breakdown, panick attack in the middle of Albertson's. Even though I wasnt there to experience or see it, it still pierced my heart because New Life is my home, my family and my family was attacked on that day. It still hurts to think of what happened o that day. We had just been rocovering from a hue blow of losing our pastor a year before, now this. We lost 2 incredible teenage girls, Rachel and Stephanie Works....sisters. I cant imagine the pain their famly went through, losing 2 daughters and sisters. But I have seen them grow, heal and listened to their story..seen God work in their brokeness. It is truely a miracle. Everyone asks, "Where was God? Why did this happen?" It happened cause the enemy wanted to destroy us. And God was right there in the midst of the horror and pain. He never leaves us. He used a very incredible woman to stop further damage from happening, we lost 2, and that is so saddening, but we could have lost so many more. It could have been mass murder. But God stopped that. I dont believe that December 9th was the defining moment for New Life, rather, it was the wednesday after at our family meeting. It was emotional. A lot of people spoke, and many tears were shed. But at the end of the night there was an anthem that spontaneously rose up and exploded from our NLC family. They started to play the song Overcome, and it flowed out of everyone there. We were singing, no, shouting, "We will overcome, by the Blood of the Lamb, and the word of our testimony. Everyone Overcome." It has been our anthem ever since. And we have overcome. These blows did not knock us down, yes they hurt, but they did not destroy us. They made us stronger and like any family, we pulled together and held each other up. We have overcome. It is truely a miracle that our church has survived so much, but God has huge plans for us and greater is HE that is in us than he that is in the world. We have overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. =)

11.15.2008

My New Heart. =)

I went as a leader on a high school retreat a few weeks ago and it was incredible!!! Here's my story of what God did: =)

Well I went into the saturday night service and God was just there in the prayer meeting in such a powerful way, and I knew He had great things planned for these students. I wasnt expecting anything for myself, we were told to have our spiritual lives right before we went and to be completely there to minister and counsel the kids. I was there to help them experience Jesus and find His love. This weekend no one preached, there was no set sermons..it wasnt a typical retreat. God told Brent "Let Me love them. Let them love me." So thats what happened. No sermons, just God. God showed up in every single meeting we had in power and glory and manifested Himself. I was praying with my students before the service started, crying out to God for transformation and revelation to happen in their lives...I had no idea what God wanted to do inside of me. Worship started to slow down, and with it I began to hear God's voice and to break down and weep. "I need you Jesus to come to my rescue, where else can I go?" He said..."I love you. I forgive you. You no longer have to fear hell or death because I have redeemed you and I have overcome. I love you." I wept. NOt a pretty kind of crying, like a I'm a complete mess weeping and bawling my eyes out kind of crying. One that says I cannot control myself. I mean I've always known that God loves me, but I have never really known it in my heart. It was head knowledge. Its what most people say they know but dont really know. Well the whole room, about 600 people, were weeping and God was bringing revelation. Two hours of worship, weeping before Him and hearing His voice and what He was speaking. God was implanting this deep inside me, giving a revelation of His perect love and forgiveness. I now know that God loves me. Ya know? Jesus loves me this I know...except now I actually really really know it deep inside. It was amazing. We started singing this song "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan (amazing, you should hear it!) but the chorus is "oh, How He loves us so. Oh how He loves us. How He loves us so." Then, "I realize just how beautiful you are and how great Your affections are for me." 600 junior high and highschoolers singing this chorus over and over and really getting it deep in their hearts, it was a beautiful thing! All of a sudden my heart like physically began to hurt, like it was being torn. God was emptying me of all these things holding me back, and of the things I thought were important but are really trivial and God is all that matters. My life was being poured out and emptied and it hurt. It hurt because it was surrender, a complete surrender that was happening on my part. Holding nothing back, I was broken and willing to give it all up. It physically hurt. God emptied me and ripped my heart out. He took my broken, wounded and scarred heart and ripped it out. He worked through issues, He touched it, He washed it, and ultimately healed it and made it whole. As how He ripped it out, for awile I didnt have a heart. It was just me and God, coming face to face with my issues and who I really am and becoming what He made me to be. It was raw, painful and weak. He gave me His heartbeat and love and began to pour back into me. He took away the mess, and gave me His heart and hope. While I didnt have a heart I felt empty and I wept even more because God cut out these wounds and this broken mess and ripped it out of my grasp. I gave Him my heart and pain and He held it. well after awhile, He put it back. This time it wasnt broken, scarred or wounded. It was a new heart that had a deep understanding that God loves me, that He has forgiven me. I'm filled with joy and there is no more pain or heartbreak. I felt God more near to me than I have in a very long time. I dont see my brokeness anymore, God made me whole and complete in His love for the first time in my life I am whole. I in Him and He is in me. His heart in me. He holds my heart and it belongs to only Him; no one and nothing else. No wound and no issue, it is in God's hands...brand new.

10.01.2008

Thursday 13~ 7th Edition!

13 Of The Stupidest Things I've Done (some serious, some just dumb)

1. Fallen down on a treadmill and ripped 2 layers of skin off my legs. (o ouch!)

2. Burned myself with oil cooking pork chops.

3. Called a customer Mr. when its a girl, or Ms. when its a guy. (happens too many times!)

4. Cut myself. (not the accidental kind)

5. Told people I love things that hurt.

6. Say curse words in front of my mother under my breath. (God help me!)

7. Fallen up the stairs.

8. Taken prescription drugs when not needed to "numb" life's pain.

9. Eaten missions training food. aka...food that is made to be horrible that you have to eat! (not my choice I was forced.)

10. Gotten a 20% score on a math test. (I'm horrible at math!)

11. When I was 7, I kissed a boy so he would let me play on his playset in his backyard.

12. Walked away from God for about 5 months.

13. Held a grudge. They destroy you, its easier to forgive and move on.

What are some of the stupid things you have done? Or can you relate to any of mine?

9.25.2008

Thursday 13~ 6th Edition!

13 Standards For My Future Husband

1. First and foremost he must be a strong Christian. He must but God in the first place of his life, even above me, and must have a heart to seek after God and konw Him more. Worship is passionate and sold out. Prayer is fervent and full of faith. His love for God must be what defines him as a man.

2. He must have a full time call to missions and ministry, seeing as how my call is to be a full time missionary. Preferibly to the same country I am called to be in, Mexico. But the call and purpose for this job must be on him, and his heart needs to be for missions and spreasing the gospel of Jesus across the earth. He must support my goal to build a girls home in Mexico.

3. He has a love for kids. I want at least 3 of my own and maybe to adopt a couple. We need to see eye to eye when it comes to raising kids and discipline. He needs to be good with them, cause lets face it...some guys dont have a clue when it comes to kids.

4. He needs to respect me and love me and treat me like the love of his life. The Bible commands men to respect and love their wives like Christ loves the church, I completely expect this out of my husband. He doesnt have to be perfect, but this is a must. Love and Respect.

5. He needs to love and actually like my family and friends and being around them. I love my family and friends and they are of high importance in my life! My family is loud and we like to have fun and laugh together, my husband cant be afraid of this aspect of my life. He needs to be a part of my family, and I will be a part of his.

6. He needs to have a love for prayer. Prayer is huge in my life and I believe that when we pray that God does stuff. His prayer life needs to be strong and continuous and powerful. His faith will come out through his prayers. Prayer is high on the list of important things for him.

7. He needs to have goals and a well established career (although I dont know how the career part will play in if we are gonna be missionaries). But goals for his life are important! I dont want someone who just takes life day by day and doesnt even glance at the future. He needs to kow where he wants to go and be in the future and have mesurable goals. "Does he know where he wants to go and how he might get there? Is he a dreamer? My rule is: No goals=no wife! Ephesians 5 talks about wives respecting their husbands. It is a lot easier to respect a husband that is worthy of respect. Nothing makes it more difficult for a wife than a husband who is a deadbeat!"

8. He lays down his life for his wife. He does things that may be uncomfortable and he doesnt want to do but are good for him. Like my college pastor said, "Does he fast on a consistent basis? Does he participate in activities that push him? The answers to these questions are an indicator of whether or not he will lay his desires aside and put the best interest of his wife at the forefront."

9. There is consistancy and congruance in his words, thoughts and actions. He doesnt make promises he cant possibly keep. He doesnt make fun of marriage, sex or women and dosnt take his words lightly. He can have fun and joke, but when it comes to these things when were dating, thee is no excuse for that. These things are important. "Luke 6:43-44 tells us to judge people by their fruit, not their words or good intentions. Seeds of a good husband are found in a man who keeps his word, does what he says, and follows through on his promises. If a guy says he loves you, he should follow his declaration with laying down his life."

10. How he spends his money. He is generous and tithes on a regular basis. Doesnt trust in money to get him by but trusts in God. He doesnt spend all his money on himself, materialistic men are most often selfish and really probably dont make good husbands. He cant be stingy, but needs to be generous. Tithing is a must as well.

11. "How does he act when he loses? I don’t know any guy that likes to lose but how they lose is a huge indicator of humility. When he fails, does he take on the victim mentality, pout, or look for ways to improve? Anyone can be a husband and say “I’m the leader!” It takes humility to establish true leadership. Proverbs 18:12 says “First comes humility then comes honor.”" He cant be a sore loser, but he needs to lead no matter what.

12. He cant just care about the physical side of the relationship, even if that is important, emotional and spiritual sides are equally important. There needs to be a balance between the three. Communication is a must, he needs to be able to talk things through. Worship and prayer together is completely necessary and important. But the physical is also necessary for the whole aspect of being "one flesh"

13. He cares more about other people than of himself. He has a heart for people. He has a heart for the less fortunate. He has a heart for orphans like God has given me and we will live out James 1:27 in actions alongside each other. =) He cant be selfish but is selfless.

9.18.2008

Thursday 13~ 5th Edition!

13 Things God Is Saying To Me.

1. You dont need a boyfriend in your life. You cannot date until you learn to be content and make me your everything. A boy will not fill the void of male attention that is in your heart, I fill it first then you can date when I say its okay. (ouch!)

2. You may not listen to secular music for now, I want your life to be consumed with worship. I asked how long, He said "as long as it takes."

3. I love you.

4. Your identity can only be found in Me, not in what others or even what you think about yourself.

5. Holiness is what you were created for, overcoming is my plan for you.

6. Forget the past and forge forward.

7. Nothing is impossible with Me.

8. Don't be afraid to speak up and be bold, voice your beliefs.

9. Be patient.

10. Be gentle.

11. Be humble.

12. Think about what to say before you speak, and dont let emotion take over.

13. Be open and willing to do whatever I ask of you.

9.10.2008

Thursday 13~ 4th Edition!

My birthday is this saturday, I'm gonna be 18! OLD! ANCIENT! I need a cane!!! YIKES! Well here are 13 things I have learned in my 18 years....

13 Life Lessons

1. God is the only one who never leaves and never hurts you. When the rest of the world turns their back, God remains. He is faihful and His love endures forever.

2. It doesn't matter what people say or how they think of you because in the end you are who you are and to the core you arent going to change for anyone. Maybe externally, but youre made the way you are for a reason...you might as well accept it and love yourself for who you are.

3. Don't be ashamed of the gifts God has given you, and be willing and open to use them. Don't compare yourself to others and let jealousy get in your heart, jealousy can destroy relationships...I have witnessed it firsthand and gone through it. (the relationship was restored though, praise GOD!)

4. Family is important. They are the ones that will always be there. They may get on your nerves sometimes and you may want to escape it, but in the end they are always there. Sometimes they hurt you and do things that cause pain, but you have to forgive them and move on. You are kinda stuck with the one you get with, forever. Make the most of it. Love them.

5. Always be grateful for what you have. When I went to Mexico I realized how selfish I was. I saw people that had nothing, and yet they were so happy and joyful. And we are discontented, always wanting more. Be grateful for your blessings and the life you have. If may not be the best, but it is better than a lot of people's. Be content, happiness isnt in materialism.

6. Friends are important. You cannot do life alone, I have tried, and I failed miserably and was at the lowest point in my life when I isolated myself from godly friends and relationships. I didnt have accountability or anyone to press me on in my walk, so I lost my faith. When I really dedicated my life to Go, I began to develop relationships that were deep and intimate. I've never really had any "true" friends until now. I have 2 of the best friends I oculd ask for and I never take them for granted. We are sisters by heart connection, even though it isnt blood, it is strong and deep and God centered. I love my friends. I need them, and thank God for them.

7. Life is unpredictable. Things happen that you have absolutely no control over, and they come from out of the blue. No one expects tragedy or pain, but its inevitable at one point or another in life. Dont try to tell when, because its not possible. I never expected my dad would have an affair and leave my family, but it happened and we had to deal with it. No one expects disease or premature death. Life is unpredictable. You never know what you are going to get.

8. Perfectionism is boring. Why try to be something you are not? Why try to be perfect and obsessive about everything? Its not the way we were supposed to live. We all have quirks and we should embrace them. I am a self proclaimed nerd, and people think I'm weird a lot of times (which is true) but I say being a dork is crazy and FUN!!! I'm by no means perfect, my life is kind of a mess, but like my Aly sister says, "Its a holy and beautiful wreck. =)" I dont try to reach perfection because I know I cant attain it. I try to be better and let God work, but like spontinaity and craziness!

9. There is so much beauty in the world outside of our American bubble. We all think America is the greatest and some think others are inferior. But after 4 years of being in a church family of hispanics, let me tell you, they are some of the most beautiful people I know. They are incredible, and passionate, and fun, and sweet, and really care about you. Dont judge somebody based on the color of their skin. Thats not fair, you have to know a person before you have the right to make judgements. I love America, but hispanic culture takes up about half of my heart.

10. Love covers a multitude of sins. How many times have I sinned against God? Too many to ever count. I regret so much, but its in His love, every time, that I find forgiveness. He takes joy in forgiving us, it makes His day! He has washed my heart and is healing me, and all you have to do is ask Him and be willing. =) it doesnt matter what you do, He is faithful and just to forgive. And when you have been forgiven, how can you hold back from forgiving others? If His love is inside of you, forgiveness will flow out.

11. Childlikeness. Even Jesus said that "If you do not become like these little ones, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Kids trust easily, you dont have to tell them to trust. Kids dont fear, fear is taught to kids by individuals and the collective society and culture. Kids arent afraid to ask for things. Kids are full of wonder at the smallest, most simple things. People think I'm crazy, but I like to have fun and be like a kid sometimes. I grew up fast, and I like my random craziness! God is teaching my childlikeness and its hard, but important. I'm surrounded by kids all the time! I love watching them and seeing how innocent they are.

12. Life cannot be ruled by emotions. When you let your life be run by your emotions, it turns into a mess. Thre has to be a place for reason, for prayer and thought before decisions or acting on something, and asking advice from the people you trust. Not to say that emotins have no place, sometimes its best to follow your heart, but its not the way to live.

13. Leadership isnt necessarily always being on top, but it is taking the role of a servant and putting others before self in service to them and to God. I have learned leadership and life skills through my high school group at church, _tag, and have seen this idea in practice. Leadership is service, not shining the light on self and being prideful...leading is serving and becoming as low as you possibly can in order to elevate others.

~Well these are only a few of the major lessons I have learned, I have 18 years of them. Can you relate to any of these? It was hard picking only 13! But now that they are out there, I hope you too can learn something from them. =) ~

9.04.2008

Thursday 13~ 3rd Edition!

My 13 Favorite Books (out of many more)

1. The Bible.

2. Run Baby Run by Nicky Cruz

3. Red Letters: Living A Faith That Bleeds by Tom Davis

4. Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry by Lisa Bevere

5. Driven By Eternity by John Bevere

6. I Am Not But I Know I AM by Louie Giglio

7. The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer

8. Deep Unto Deep by Dana Candler

9. Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy

10. The God Chasers by Tommie Tennie

11. The Oath by Frank Peretti

12. Nurture by Lisa Bevere

13. The Barbarian Way by Ewan Rafael McManus

8.31.2008

El Rescate

Quiero decirles mi testimonio de como Dios ha obrado en mi corazon. Aqui esta...

Hace 18 años que yo nací en Washington.. Cuando tuve 4 años, mi familia mudó a Colorado. También yo nacíen una casa cristiana. Pero, cuando tuve 7 años, mi Papá salió con una mujer extranjera. Como puedes inferir, eso hizo mucho daño a mi familia y causó mucho dolor. No sabía como sentir, fue muy inesperado. Me sentí abandonada y rechazada. Continué viviendo. Cuando empece la escuela ecundaria, yo comencé pasando un rato largo con mala gente, yo dejé de asistir a la iglesia y dije que no quiero nada de eso y no quiero identificarme con Diós o la iglesia. Yo escuché y miré películas y música bien sucias y malas. Empecé y actualmente fui drogadicta a las drogas de prescripcion. Estaba viviendo una vida destructiva, en el camino que fue en dirrecion al infierno. Pues, yo tuve una noche libre y decidí ir a mi grupo de ovenes en la iglesia, para visitar con mis viejos amigos. Yo aprendí de un retiro que pasará en unas semanas, y decidí que yo quise ir. Ahorré el dinero y yo fui. Este campo se llamaba "Adorale", o "Adore". Por el primer parte yo tuve muchos problemas con conectarme con la prescencia de Diós como los otros que estaban a mi alrededor. Pues, el pastor predicó sobre... como a veces hacemos un "diós" que hace lo que queremos, que queda bien en nuestras vidas. Yo nunca jamas he sentido tanta convición en mi entera vida. Yo me postré ante Diós y empecé llorando y llorado. El pastor llamó como un "alter-call" por ellos que querian hacer todo bien con Diós, volver, y aceptarle al Señor Jesucristo como su Señor y Salvador. Pues, una batalla pasó en mi mente, pero de repente yo oí una voz mas fuerte que todos los otros (creo que fue el Espiritu Santo) y me dijo, "Kasey, yo te amo. Regrese a hogar. Te quiero. Te perdono." Entonces, yo fui y dediqué mi vida a Jesus. Desde este momento, yo nunca he sido lo mismo. NUNCA! Una transformacion completa ocurrió en mi corazon en esa noche. Dios me liberó de las drogas y mis relaciones malas. Yo era diferente, y tengo un fuego ardiente que nunca saldrá, una pasión por Diós tan inmenso y tan poderoso. Me dio paz y amor. Soy una hija de Dios, El es lo mas increible.

Pues, en el verano de ese año, yo aprendí de que mi papá tuvo cáncer. No sabía como sentir y no pague attencion a la situacion. Pues, en el enero del próximo año, alguien nos llamó y nos dijo que la enfermedad fue muy grave y mi papa podía morir en cualquier momento. Entonces, tomemos una decision rapido y fuimos a Tejas, dónde estaba viviendo... el próximo día. Antes de ese día, yo no tuve sentimientos.. pero en este momento, yo era muy emocional. Entonces, lo visitamos y el pidió perdón. Nos dijo que terrible sintió para que lo hizo ocho años anteriormente. El fue humillado y sencillo. Salimos y fue superbien tener ese cerrado final. Unos 4 meses después, él se murió. Fue mas dificil que jamas pensaba porque por 4 meses yo tuve un papa y cuando el se murió...mi esperanza de tener un padre murió tambien. Dios todavia me esta enseñando que el es mi Padre Celestial y sus caracteristicas y que nunca me dejará y cuan grande es su amor.

Pues. En el verano de ese año, yo fui en un viaje misionero a México. Fue increíble, y transformó mi vida por siempre. Yo sentí la llama de Diós en una palapa dónde Diós vino en toda su gloria y prescencia. El me dijo, "Hija preciosa, este es dónde te he llamado. Este es tu hogar, dónde la gente te necesita. Vas a ver vidas transformadas." Entonces, aquí estoy ahora. Mi orazón arde por Diós y las naciones latinoamericanas. Yo amo a Diós con todo mi corazón y vivo cada día por su reino. Hace casi 6 meses que me dio una visión de que me quiere hacer en México. Me dijo, "Quiero que abras como una "Casa Hogar" en Mexico para muchachas quien han sido abusadas, violadas y ultimamente abandonadas. Tu vas a ser la persona que les muestra amor cuando todo que conocen es odío. Tu vas a ser la persona que les cuenta de Jesus y lo que hizo para ellas. Y tu vas a mostrarles que hay esperanza y que tengo un proposito para sus vidas y que les Amo. Rescata a una generacion." La razon de mi existencia es eso:

1. Alabar a Dios y entregarle a El mi corazon cada día.
2. Conocer a Jesus con intimidad.
3. Predicar el evangelio de Jesus en toda la tierra, especialmente en Mexico y Latinoamerica. Para ver la justicia de Dios en el mundo. Ver las almas transformadas por el poder de Dios. El mundo necesita saber.

Este es mi testimonio de como Dios me ayudó a vencer. Cual es tu historia? Y si no tienes una historia...quiero invitarte a una vida increible, es la vida Cristiana, es la vida que Dios tiene para ti. Si no conoces a Jesucristo como su Señor y Salvador, quiero invitarle a usted que le aceptas en su vida y El vendrá a vivir dentro de su corazón. El te transformará como hizo a mi. El te dará gozo y un amor indescrutible que no tiene limites. NO digo que la vida seró perfecta o sin problema, solo digo que cuando tienes Jesucristo en su corazón, El te guiará y tienes el Dios del universo que te puede ayudar y tomarte por la mano y caminar contigo. Te puede liberar de pecado. El murió en una cruz para salvarte, y resucitó 3 dias despues y ahora esta sentado en su trono en los Cielos. Cuando mueres puedes estar con el, o puedes estar separado de su Presencia en el infierno. Cual decides y donde quieres pasar la eternidad? Si usted dice hoy "Quiero tener una relacion personal con Jesucristo" por favor diga en voz alta est oración de lo mas profundo de su corazon:

"Señor Jesus. Te amo. Creo en ti. Creo que eres el Hijo de Dios. Creo que moriste y sifriste en una cruz por salvarme, porque me amas. Yo me arrepiento de todo pecado. Perdoname Señor. Te necesito y te amo. Guíame mis pasos y llename con su amor. Creo en ti y Te acepto como mi Señor y Salvador. Transformame. Me entrego a Ti. Amen."

Si usted oró esta oración, es la mejor decision que jamas puedas tomar. Ahora Dios vive en ti. Pidele y El te llenará de su Espirita que te da las fuerzas y el poder de vencer y para vivir. Dios te ama. Adorale.El es tu Salvador y te ha perdonado, y ahora puedes pasar la eternidad con Jesus en el cielo. Hay unas cosas que recomiendo que hagan:

1. Busca a una iglesia local y empiece a asistir. Encuentra a una persona que te puede ayudar y discipular el el camino que ahora estas tomando.
2. Orar. Habla a Dios. El te oye..en cualquier momento que le necesitas, hablale, El te esta esperando.
3. Lea la Biblia. Es la Palabra de Dios. Es como El nos habla. Puede transformar tu vida y tu mente. Leala, aprende sobre Dios...y empiece a conocer a Dios personalmente.

Dejame saber que decidiste. Quiero saber sus historias. Dios le bendiga mucho y les amo con todo mi corazon. =)

8.28.2008

Thursday Thirteen~ 2nd Edition

My 13 Favorite Pastimes

1. God Time: I treasure my God time. Its my favorite part of the day! I get to be alone with Jesus my lover. Worship. Prayer. Journaling. Reading. And just sitting in the silence waiting for Him to speak and being alone, just me and Him.

2. Church: Outside of God Time, I love the community aspect of being a Christian. I go to an amzing church called New Life! Its my second home and family. _tag, theMill, Spanish Church, and sunday services keep me connected and filled up. I also lead a group for high school group which starts in 2 weeks!!!! I love worship and listening to messages there!

3. Talking To My Friends: I love my friends. Apart from God and my family, they are the most important people in my life! My best friend, Aly, is someone I talk to daily and I love our conversations! I learn so much from her and we keep each other in line. My main form of communication is text messaging, a typical month is about 8000-9000 texts. I love my one on one time with Aly too, coffee with her! We can sit and talk for hours!

4. Reading: Call me a nerd, but I love reading! It is one of my goals to always be reading a book, and I have definitely not had trouble with that one. I love learning! I love the excitement of reading and engaging in study. I write in all my books so I can get the main points and ideas that stick out. Right now I'm reding "Run Baby Run" by Nicky Cruz. Its incredible and a captivating story that everyone should read! Theyre making a major motion picture of it and I cant wait! I love reading!

5. Studying Spanish: I love the spanish language more than anything! Its my heart and a huge part of who I am. I learned it in high school and am continuing to study it to increase in fluency and knowledge. Its the most beautiful language there is! I go to a spanish church and the people there are my hispana family! I love them so much! They are a group of really incredible people who love me a lot and I love them a lot!

6. Facebook: its an addiction for me. I could spend hours on facebook. Talking to people, using bumper sticker and my new favorite...pieces of flair! Its a time sucker, but I love it!

7. Eating: This is a bit of an odd one. But...I love food! (and not afraid to admit it!) Its amazing! I'm not fat, and I eat a lot! I enjoy lots of types of food and am constantly grazing and putting things in my mouth. Bad habit! BUt I cant help it...it calls my name.

8. Watching Movies: I'm a sucker for a good movie. I love chick flicks! I am highly entertained by watching them, but have to be careful to guard my heart from evil. But I do love movies. Accompanied by a pint of Ben and Jerry's- Cake Batter ice cream...its the perfect combo.

9. Listening to Music: I love listening to music. I love all kinds of music except rap and heavy metal. I especially like worship, country, and latin music. I have Sid, my Zune, in my ears basically whenever I can! aka...not at work or school or church service. I play the guitar and love sitting there with him, just worshipping, me the guitar and God.

10. Outdoor Activities: I'm a Colorado girl all the way! I love hiking!!! (especially the incline!) I love swimming! I love going on runs with my doggie! And I'm pretty excited to start camping again! I'm going on a personal camping trip with just me, Aly, hand er brother and guy friend to protect us! In 2 weeks! I'm stoked!!!!

11. Sleeping: I love sleep, we have a very close relationship! I can sleep until noon with no disturbance, and enjoy every minute of it. Its very relaxing. Sleep is beautiful, God gives rest to those He loves...He must love me a lot!

12. Shopping: I used to like this activity a lot more, but I still enjoy it every once in a while. I avoid the grocery stores like the plague now that I work at one. UGH. HATE THEM. I like clothes shopping though! Thats good times!

13. Watching Kids: okay. Now I know some of you are saying, what the heck is wrong with you?! I know its weird, a teenager that loves kids and working with them...but I do! All the kids at spanish church LOVE me and I have a special touch with them! I love them soooo much! Especially my girls! The worship leader's girls, the pastor's girls, and then these two 10 year olds Alice and Nebai...I love them so much! I watch the kids a lot at church and outside of church. I love it so much I would do it for free! =) one of my girls, Leah, asked me "Kasey are you leaving this church?" I said, "No Love, not anytime soon." And she was like, "Good, cause if you ever left that would definitely be the saddest day of my life!" =') I love them!!!!

8.20.2008

Thoughts From My Restless Night...

Last night I was up until 5:00 am. No matter how hard I tried, I could not sleep, I could not find rest, it was nowhere in sight. It was in some place I couldn see. I was burdened and my heart was heavy. I couldnt stop thinking about my job. There is so much hatred from my coworkers toward my church, and they arent afraid to tell their opinions to my face. They are so harsh and very very low and rude. I don't understand why so many people hate my church, God's church- His body. Jesus said that "You will face persecution for my sake." Its not fun, but I cant explode or say things out of anger becasue then they will think even worse of New Life. I was like, "Okay, lets not turn this into a bash New Life session." and my manager Michelle was like, "Okay we'll just wait till' youre gone." This things were heavying my heart last night. I know God put me there to demonstrate His love and what New Lifer's are really life and the truth- but I just don't think I can do it anymore. The environment I work in is so negative, and I dont now how all the NLC haters ended up in one place, but I cant take being 1 out of like 2...maybe 3 Chrsitians in the whole store. I'm sick of it. I'm looking for a new job. I know I need a job so I can support myself, but I'm quitting this one as soon as I find another one. I cannot do it anymore. I asked God's permission in my desperate journalilng last night, tears on the pages, His permission to quit my job and for Him to help me find another. About an hour and a half later, He gave me His answer which was a clear Yes. I was estatic and was finally able to sleep. My heart is still hurting because of how lost and blinded these people are, and I wasnt able to do anything except live His love. I choose to live with a standard of holiness, and therefore I am a freak in their eyes. I dont really get it, but then again the world doesnt like what is different when it threatens their so called "fun and freedom". I did what I could, but I will soon be done with my job at Slaveway.

8.15.2008

Spanish Love! =)

Ya know, I never really appreciated school when I was forced to go for 13 years of my life. I thought it was lame, until my last few years of high school. My sophomore year I met the most incredible woman I know, which is Ivette, my spanish teacher/pastor/mentor person. Lol. She's incredible and I'm her favorite student. Teehee. =) I loved my classes with her and she has taught me so much! Classes were so much fun, and so useful to my language skills. I've been going to her church for almost 3 years and that has helped me grow immensly in my spanish! She has taught me about life and godliness and living passionately for Christ. Her heart is huge. SHe makes me laugh and smile and makes me really happy when she calls me "Mami, Mamita, or Mama." lol. I'm not used to that, but I am now after being in the hispanic church for so long. It rubbed off and I now call my sisters, nieces, and friends "Mami" or little boys "Papi"...it freaks them out cause its totally a Hispano thing, they dont get it. I laugh. LOL. Well she left the school at the end of my junior year and that was depressing. I went from seeing her everyday, to only once a week...it was a weird transition. sad actually. Even though she isnt technically my teacher anymore, she still calls me Her Student and whenever I read for the group at Bible study she feels teh need to brag the I'm Her Student. It makes me happy. She believes in me when I dont believe in myself. She knows this heart and this skill that is inside of me, and forces it out of me and presses me onto what God has for me through it. She pushes me to study and develop my knowledge and to speak more often...cause she knows I'm insecure about it. =) Well I graduated in may and I was thrilled. But then I got to this time of year where all my friends were returning to school and I wasnt, that was weird, and I decided at teh last minute that I actually liked school and wanted to go back. Weird, I know. So I enrolled at the local community college. I took a placement test for spanish...which by the way my Ivette said to take SPA 3, and said I had what it takes to succeed. I took the test and tested out of all of the classes...even 4! Crazy! Coming from a girl that got a 2 on the AP exam! I was too smart for them and they werent gonna let me in a class!!! WOW! I was amazed! I finally convinced them to let me in, and I couldnt be more excited to start...I havent been in a real spanish class for 2 years. YAY! I'm so excited to start school! (except for the fact that my book costs 200 dollars!) AH! Its all thanks to Ivette (and my freshman teacher) that I am here today and discovered the gift God gave me in Spanish.

Friday Fill-Ins #85!

1. The last meal I had at a restaurant was Sesame Chicken and Fried Rice.

2. The smell of the seafood department in my store is something I intensely dislike.

3. The full moon makes me homesick.

4. No importa quien has sido cuando descubres quien eres is one of my favorite local expressions.

5. Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut.

6. P.S. I Love You is the best movie I've seen so far this year!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to watching my future husband swim in the olympics, tomorrow my plans include work and sleep and Sunday, I want to go play softball at the safeway tournament to support MDA!

Thursday Thirteen ~ 1st Edition!

I'm new to the T13 community, so here goes the first one!!!

I have had a rough past couple weeks and this Lifehouse cd had totally put my life and feelings to music...exactly how I feel. They have always been one of my favorites, but right now they are my favorite band and I cant stop listening to it.

My 13 All-Time Favorite Lifehouse Songs:

1. You Say (this song isnt officially on an album, its on their demo. Its a song about having faith and trusting God even when you cant see where He is taking you.)

2. Revolution Cry (again only on the demo. Its about God's people rising up and there being a revolution on the earth that shakes the darkness and brings hope to all.)

3. Everything (this song is my heart's cry. God is All I want, All I need, and Everything!)

4. Breathing (this song brought me through a couple weeks where God felt so distant and no matter how hard I looked and fought, I couldnt see Him. It says, "Cause I am hanging on every word You say, even if You dont wanna speak to night, thats alright with me. Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door and listen to You breathing, its where I want to be." I just wanted to hear Him again.)

5. Somewhere In Between (My line: "Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in. Dont be surprised if I collapse down at Your feet again. I dont want to run away from this, I know that I just dont need this....Im somewhere in between what is real and just a dream." I was continuously falling down at His feet and just waiting.)

6. Quasimodo (My line: "There goes my pain, there goes my shame...did you see them falling because this feeling that has no meaning. There goes the world off of my back." I have always felt immense shame and guilt for the past, but God told me that I need to overcome by the word of my testimony...like in Revelation 12:11, and be free because of what He has done that erases my sin.)

7. Take Me Away (It says, "This time, All I want is You, there is no one else, that could take Your place. YOu see past all the rags, youve taken them away....Take me away! Take me away! Ive got nothing left to say, just take me away!" I want to be with God in the midst of everything and my heart is for HIm to Take me away! Take me away to be with Him!)

8. Broken (This song talks about the strength there is in being weak and broken before God. "Im falling apart, Im barely breathing. With a broken heart thats still beating, In the pain there is healing, In Your name I find meaning. So I'm holding on, barely holding onto You." I had a very weak moment about a week ago and I did something I regret. I was broken and I ran away instead of running to God. I long for brokenness and for Him to break me, to be weak so He can be strong. I'm holding onto Him.)

9. Storm (My life has been one big sorm. There is the calm moments, but there are other times where the rain and lightening is all I can see. IN this song it talks about God delivering you from the storm and bringing peace and calm to your heart. "If I could just see You, everything would be alright...And I will walk on water, and You will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into Your eyes, I know eyerything will be alright.)

10. You And Me (This is typically used as a love song...but its my love song with my Jesus. "Cause its You and me, and all other people and I dont know why, but I cant keep my eyes off of You." I am locking eyes with God and I know that He never takes His eyes off of me, I cant look away, He's to beautiful, He has captivated me.)

11. Hanging By A Moment ("I'm falling even more in lov ewith You, letting go of all Ive held onto. I'm standing here until You make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with You. I'm living for the only thing I know, I'm running and not quite sure where to go...there's noting else to lose, nothing else to find, nothing in the world that could change my mind, there is nothing else." There is nothing else but Him that matters. I'm chasing after Him, and falling deeper in love every second of it!)

12. Unknown ("I am falling into grace, to the unknown to where You are. And faith makes everybody scared, its the unknown, I dont know, that keeps me hanging on and onto You." I dont know where God is taking me, but I'm trusting Him and putting my life in His hands. The unknown scares me, but also makes me so excited!)

13. Simon (The whole song. I cant even say. "Refuse to feel anything at all, Refuse to slip, Refuse to fall. Can't be weak, Can't stand still, You watch your back 'cause no one will. You don't know why they had to go this far, Traded your worth for these scars, For your only company. And don't believe the lies That they have told to you. Not one word was true you're alright, you're alright, you're alright." The enemy was yelling his lies in my ears constantly, and I had my thoughts, and I had what my sisters were telling me, and what GOD was trying to say above all the voices. In the song Breathing it says, "Im trying to identify the voices inside my head, God which one is You?" God is defining my worth, He is telling me who I am. No one else can do that for me, not even myself...only the creator.)

Sorry it was so long, I'm a writer and you will learn that I write A LOT! It was pretty deep for my first one. Feel free to leave comments! =)

http://thursdaythirteen.com/

8.10.2008

A Very Hard Week...=( -part one-

I am so happy that this week is finally over! It was one of the hardests that I have had in a long time. It started to suck last sunday, 8.3.08, at 1:00 inthe morning when I got a text from one of my very close friends. They were needing my to get ahold of Aly cause they needed to talk. I asked why....they wouldnt tell me at first, but I pryed and they opened up. (for privacy issues I am not going to use gender or name.) Turns out this friend of mine tried to kill themself that night. They said, "If it werent for a text message from this girl, you would have never heard my voice again." They were going and started to hang themself. I broke down completely, sending text after text to Aly...even though I knew she probably had her phone off and was sleeping since they were driving home from Alabama. It shook me up to the core, I was rocked by this happening, I guess because our relationship has been rocky and now that things are normal again...I'm scared of losing them again. I couldnt sleep, and was up really late fighting on my knees for this person, until finally I was emotionally exhausted and zonked out. The next day at work, I get a txt from this persons dad, and he wanted to talk to me. He wanted me to tell him my story and everything that was said the night before, and if I knew why my friend would want to do this. The conversation went okay, except for the part where I completely lost it. Just the thought of what went on and what could have happened made me sick and totally break down emotionally. I was a wreck for like 2 days. I spent the tuesday night with my friend, and all day on wednesday. I got to their house and tackled them, I was soooo happy to see my little friend...alive and well. =) That was one of the scariest things Ive ever been through, it was the second time theyve attempted since Ive known them, and harder than the first. They had talked about it, but I would have never thought that they would try it again. =( well all is okay now, my friend is going to be getting counseling and help so this wont happen again. I love this person with all I am...and dont know what I would do if anything happened. Please pray for the healing and the process that is unfolding.

7.29.2008

Six Quirky Things About Me =)

Melanie at Monday Through Sunday tagged me...what a turd! Here we go:

1) Link to the person who tagged me.
2) Mention the rules.
3) Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about myself.
4) Tag six other blogger´s by linking to them.
5) Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged.

1. I speak 2 languages. Spanish and English. Most of the time it turns into Spanglish because I randomly insert spanish words or phrases into daily conversation. It drives people crazy. A veces I forget what lengua I'm speaking y entonces it comes out como esto.

2. I'm a textaholic. A typical month contains about 8,000 text messages. Its my main form of conversation and communication.

3. I hate amusement parks! Everyone thinks places like 6 Flags/Elitches ar fun? Oh heck no! Not me! I am deathly scared of hights and things like roller coasters and really high water slides are torture for me~ My eyes are clamped shut the entire time and I do not enjoy it at all! The only amusement park I've ever been to and actually had fun on the rides was Disneyworld. Its sooooo fun!

4. I hate coffee! Its the most vile drink on the planet. Everyone loves it, but not me. Gross!

5. My best friend Mariah and I have a bunch of weird noises we make. Bird calls, random songs, and then theres the Run Jump Tackle! Teehee. We also enjoy watching P.S. I Love YOu (its our movie) and we can quote the entire movie. We like reinacting it too. The other night, we got in boxer shorts and were dramatically singing along with the movie, "The Man That Got Away." and videotaping it.

6. I write way too much, I write everything. Notes, prayers, text messages I want to keep, God Time, EVERYTHING! I can fill up a fairly large ournal in 4-5 months. It can be a good thing, but also bad because its my way of venting when I should probably talk to someone about it.

~Seeing as how I dont know anyone who blogs, if you read this then TAG! YOURE IT! Let me know if you participate so I can read it!~ Also comment on mine!

7.26.2008

Abortion: Milions of Unjustified Murders

Wilberforce's Grandson on the Inhumanity of Abortion
Wednesday, MARCH 19, 2008
by Gerard Wilberforce
I am writing as the great great grandson of William Wilberforce, who campaigned vigorously for the ending of the transatlantic slave trade in 1807, which ultimately paved the way for the abolition of slavery itself throughout the entire British Empire in 1833.
I am often asked what would be the campaigns Wilberforce would be fighting if he were alive in 21st century Britain. I believe that there would be a number of different issues – among them human trafficking and the scourge of drugs. But almost certainly at the top of the list, would be the issue of abortion.
As the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill comes before Parliament over the next few weeks, the opportunity presents itself to amend the abortion Act. With the number of abortions having reached 200,000 per year in the UK alone, the time is right to tighten up the law that was designed to protect women by ending illegal abortion, but never to allow such a high degree of deprived life.
There are great similarities between the status of the foetus and the status of African slaves two centuries ago. Slaves were considered a commodity to do with whatever the vested interests of the day decided. Today, in our desire to play God in our embryology experimentation, with all its’ unfulfilled promises of miracle cures, and our decision to abort unwanted children, we are no better that those slave traders who put their interests and world view higher than they placed the sanctity and value of human life.
Most people at the time didn’t believe the evil of slavery could ever be defeated, as so much of the economy at the time was dependent on the trade. It’s easy for us to think that is the case today with abortion, but I believe William Wilberforce would not take such a view.
Whilst our hearts go out to those who have chosen abortion, there should now be much greater emphasis on the alternatives that exist. Many of us would like to see far more support those who have made such a significant and difficult decision – but whilst we recognise the trauma many women have gone through, we also have a duty to ‘Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves’ (Proverbs 31).
The Psalmist says ‘My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.’
With abortions in the UK reaching 600 a day, it seems to me that the ‘secret place’, is one of the most dangerous places to be in modern day Britain.
As with my great ancestor, the battle took many years, even decades. But now, with the passage of time we look back in horror at how we devalued human life. I truly believe we will look back in years to come, repent and ask forgiveness for what we let happen to the unborn child.
There is something deeply depressing about a society in which abortion is so easy, yet alternatives such as adoption are made to appear so difficult..

7.25.2008

Lovesick. =)

Right now, I can tell you that I am completely and 100 percent lovesick. I have discovered a love beyond anything that tries to compare, no one is like it and nothing can match it. There is a Man that has won me over. He brings me flowers, He whispers sweet nothings into my ear, He tells me I'm beautiful, He gives me sunsets, He wraps His arma around me and lets me cry into His shoulder, He holds my hand when I am scared, He cries when I cry, He never leaves my side, His love is perfect. If you havent figure it out yet, this amazing Man is Christ Jesus. In His love I have found life and hope and joy. I feel His love stronger today that I ever have before in my life, and I love Him more than I ever have in my life. He romances my heart, and I long and reach out to touch His heart the only way I know how...with worship and showing Him love. It is in the secret place that He pours Himself out, and I can pour my heart out to Him. I love Him more than words could ever express. Love gives all. It is out of love that God gave His only Son, Jesus...all He had...so that Jesus could give all He had, His life up till the point of death on a cross. He gave all, and it is out of love for the King that we need to give all. When you love someone with true love, it is not hard to lay your life down for them because you arent thinking of yourself. Lay it down, surrender. Be weak, don't be afraid of weakness because let me tell you something; only weak people pray, only weak people fast, only weak people worship. They are those that admit their complete dependance on God and not out of their own strength. The door does not broaden to admit the weak and desperate as well, the door to God's presence narrows and only the weak may enter. I want to know Christ. I want to know Christ. I want to know Christ. That is my heart's desire, to know Him. When I lock eyes with the God-Man Jesus, I want there to be an existing relationship, I want there to be a history of intimacy, I want to know the one I will spend eternity with. He is my bridegroom, He is my lover. When I lock eyes with the King, I want to alerady know Him. I want to touch the superior pleasures that completely blow all earthly pleasures out of the water. I want to know His love and His heart, because His love is better than all else. I challenge you to fall in love the way I have. Love gives all.

7.21.2008

Leeland: Enter this Temple.

At Desperation this weekend one of the worship leaders was Leeland. They are one of my favorite bands! Amazing! Its like one minute he is immersed in worship, and the next he whips out a Bible and starts preaching...Incredible! This is one of my favorite songs.

7.20.2008

Stories To Come.... =)

So tonight finished up the Desperation Conference at my church, wow, it was absolutely incredible! So I just want to let you know...that I will be blogging all the stories of what God is doing in me and has done, as soon as I figure out exactly what it is. Its undescribably massive though. I am so excited. GOD IS AWESOME!!!!!!

7.01.2008

I'M FREAKING OUT HERE!!!!

So...about a week ago, I was having my God Time before bed, and I asked God what He sees in me. He gave me a really long answer. I was stupid and I decided to argue with Him and tell Him what I see in myself. That was dumb, He yelled at me for like4 pages in my journal after that, (I write down everything that happens in my Got- time.) One of the things that He told me was that I was made to impact thousands of people in latinoamerica. So the other day I was talking to Jesus, and He told me something really crazy and huge! Up until now my life's calling has just been a very vague, "you belong in mexico", without saying any specifics. Well God was saying, "I want you to build a girls home in mexico for young girls who have been abused, violated and abandoned. You will be the person who gives them hope and shows them love when your world is void of these things." So I'm freaking out! I'm so excited! I argued it for awhile, asking why? and if there was someone better to do this? But now its so clear that this is what i was made for. My heart is really for teenage girls in mexico, I'm supposed to take care of them and show them Jesus. And I couldnt be more thrilled about it. Its scary because I don't know how it will happen...God does. No wonder I felt a special connection with the girls when we went to the orphanage on our trip. =) Anyway....God is amazing!

Enamorada! =)

"Me enamore de Dios,
Me enamore de Dios,
Porque me regalo,
Lo que nadie me dio.

Me enamore de Dios,
Me enamore de Dios,
Porque cuando sufri,
Su amor me encontro!"

6.17.2008

Award!!! =)

I got an award from my big sister, Melanie!

With this award comes some rules. The rules that apply to this award is as follows:

1. You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also contribute to the blogging community, no matter what language.
2. Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog to be visited by everyone.
3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that presented her/him with the award.
4.The award winner and one who has given the prize have to show the link of "Arte y Pico" blog so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5. To show these rules.

I choose to share this award with:

"Monday Through Sunday" :~My big sis. I love this girl so much, she's amazing! She lives in florida, which sucks, but ya know...She is a mom to 5 beautiful children, and she herself is incredibly gorgeous inside and out. I love and miss her like crazy! She is so much fun and is spunky and cool. She's one of the few people in my family I can discuss God things with and not feel stupid or threatened, she actually listens and believes me when I tell her that God has spoken and put things on my heart. I love her so much, go check out her blog!

"Desperation Internship Blog" :~My DI's!!! Wow. What can I say about my DI's? They are incredible people! In the almost year that I have known them, I have learned so much and grown so much closer to God because of their guidance and wisdom and love. There is one in particular that I am closest with...her name is Aly. I met her at _tag 101 and we just clicked. I have been in her small group since september and seeing as how I was the only one who ever showed up; we grew incredibly close. She is my sister, we are so much alike and share a special bond. Her heart is for missions and to touch the world with Jesus name. She radiates beauty, love and gives me wisdom and hope to live by. She's taught me so much about God and life, and helped me through some of life's toughest times and wounds. She keeps me accountable. I honestly don't know where I would be without her. We can talk for hours about God things and it never gets old. We both write...a lot, way too much, lol. We share what God speaks to us about ourselves, and each other. I love this girl with all I am. Well there are 16 DI's, all of them are different and even though they are young, you can for sure learn something from each one of them, they're amazing!

"Everyone Overcome" :~My youth pastor, Brent. He is incredible! You may be asking yourself as you visit this blog, why did this get an award?! Well, he just started his blog this week, so cut him some slack and just trust me. I am completely going off of the person I know him to be. He is full of wisdom and his words are so anointed and inspired by the Holy Spirit. He is full of life and is so much fun to listen to and be around. I love the conversations we have about life and God, he has helped me through some of life's toughest times. I don't know where I would be if not for _tag and pastor brent, God saved my life through _tag. I have learned so much in the 4 years i've been going to _tag, and I know there will be more to come on his blog...just keep checking.

"The Coldiron" :~My big brother. Our relationship has been somewhat distant, seeing as how he has lived in alabama for a good chunk of my life and the years that I know how to form good relationships. But that has been changing. We have been talking on the phone and over facebook and stuff and are beginning to develop a closer and deeper relationship. I'm going to visit him here in july...if I can get time off that is. WE do have something in common, we both love to read! Everyone hates it cause the question he always asks when he calls is, "so what are you reading?" but I love it cause it actually gives us something to talk about since i'm always reading a book. =) He's a pastor and an incredible man of God and a great husband and daddy, I love Him so much. HIs blog is mainly pictures, but its still great.

"Notes From The Field" :~Tom Davis. He's one of my favorite authors and bloggers. His book, "Red Letters: Living a Faith That Bleeds" totally transformed the way I see the world and other people and the least of these. He writes with a flavor that will make you smile, be horrified, and weep for the injustice that is so prevailant in our world today. Go read his blog, and his books!

6.13.2008

Good Times...

So I pretty much did the most fun thing ever at work today. I work at the grocery store, nuff said, its not terribly exciting. Well me and Runee were bored, so we decided to sit on the belt, touch the motion sensor with the black stick thingy and ride it. =) so much fun! We wanted to walk on it like a treadmill, but our dreams were crushed when our manager was like, "you know you guys are on camera, right?" but who's gonna watch it at 12:00 am? Seriously. So much fun! Belt riding and eating charleston chews was one of the most fun nights ever at work. lol. =)

Please Pray!

One of my old 24.7 interns just found out he has cancer. Please pray for God to do a miracle and that he would be healed, like Jesus paid for him to be. God just healed a 19 month old baby that was run over by a firetruck, He can do this. Remember, HE IS BIG! The Bible says we are healed by His wounds, present tense, so pray and join me in claiming his healing. His name is John. Thanks.

6.12.2008

Embracing Smallness

I'm reading this book called "i am not but i know I AM" by Louie Giglio. Its radically transformed the way I think, the way I see myself and God, and ultimately the way I live. Its about living with the heart knowledge the you are not, and God IS I AM. HE is everything! You are nothing, a little tiny microscopic human being! God doesnt need us, but He chooses to use us and dwell inside of us! Thats the amazing thing. He says, "Humility is the instant sightsizing of me that occusr with just one eyeful of His majesty. True humility (not the false kind that ends up being about us at the end of the day) is not a sign of weakness, failure, or inability, but rather a sign that we are getting to know God and have glimpsed His glory. And once we see how glorious His glory is, we realize that all other glory is futile and fading, and totally inconsequential in the grand scheme of things." Then... "When you get right down to it, trading in the little story of me is not really all that big of a sacrifice at all. Who wouldn't want to abandon a script you could fit on the pointed end of a pin for a chance to get in on the glorious epic that is so enduring that its screening will require all of eternity. Glimpsing His glory makes me want to say, "YOur name and renown are the desire of my soul." Seeing His true fame makes me want to live for a bigger purpose, doing everything I do in such a way as to shine the spotlight on Him." In feeling small we get a glimpse of His glory. When you abandon the story of me and join in on HIS-story, its so much greater than anything you could ever imagine. When we are small, He can become BIG in our lives and His power big in our hearts. I challange you to seek Him out and look for how BIG HE is and how small you really are. Remember everythime pride tries to get in your heart that you are a miniscule little person, and GOD IS GOD, THE GREAT I AM! MASSIVE! HUGE! LIve small, embrace your smallness and shine the spotlight on the King.

6.08.2008

Amazing Story!

SO last week at _Tag (the high school group at New Life), at the very end when we were about to dismiss, one of our pastors came up and told us about a situation and we needed to pray. A family of a _Tag student, the father had backed into their 19 month old daughter with his truck, he didnt know she was there. Well we stretched our hands towards the city and prayed heaven down, not knowing much. Well they did all these tests, CAT scans, MRI's, and said that the girl was non-responsive and basically dead, she wasn't going to make it. Her body was crushed, destroyed. The doctor said that around 9:05 she woke up and started responding. That was the time we prayed at _tag. The next morning she woke up, and all she had was one cracked rib. She went from having a completely crushed and broken body to having one cracked rib. Isnt that amazing? The doctor told them, "I am a man of science, I go by the books...but this is nothing short of a miracle." Wow. Why doesnt this happen more? Where is the authority to lay hands on the sicj and see them healed, to see life come back into dead bodies? Jesus said all authority on heaven and earth was given to Him, then He gave it to us. Not everything is God's will, but everything can be turned around to give glory to His name. Have faith, believe, and miracles will happen.

6.03.2008

Hey friends!

Hello friends! Sorry it has been so long since my last post, but I have been uber busy with life! Heres the scoop: First of all, I got a job! I blame my sister, Mel, for getting me the job cause she made me apply and told me about her experience as a caddy. Yes, I am a caddy at Safeway, its lame and quite pathetic...but I love my job! It fun, most of the time. Lol. Next, I graduated high school! I was uncontrollably excited that night when I was at church, I was freaking out and screaming and dancing around the theatre. tee hee. it was fun. I feel so old at my high school group now, I'm a college student now. AH!!! Thats even scary to say. I was really freaking out about the future, but God has given me peace...even though I dont know what is coming, He does and I trust Him. My best friend Aly has been in Africa for the past two weeks and I have been trying not to go crazy not being able to talk to her. She comes home tonight and I am so incredibly excited! I need an Aly hug so much! Me, her, and Mariah are best friends...we even call ourselves sisters or "tripelets". MAriah and I werent getting along for the time she's been in africa, and she wouldnt talk to me...but I sent her a confrentational text and all is good now! =) I got a 8gb Zune mp3 player for my graduation present, its sweet! I have all my music on it and its pretty great! I'm listening to...you guessed it Mel...Josh Turner, Your Man! He's gorgeous, and He loves Jesus which makes him more hott! Well thats whats going on with me. Some mo all I got right now. Some more serious posts will follow soon, I will be posting on my days off...promise. Much love, God bless! =)

4.29.2008

Thoughts- -Love of God or the World?

1 John 2:15-17
"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does- comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."

Man cannot be in love with the world and be in love with God at the same time. You cannot love two things that are in opposition with each other. If you love the one, then the only other option is to be an enemy of the other. The love of one will make the other to be put in second place adn in a role of less importance. So man is left with a choice to make. Will he choose the most incredible love and grace that is too much for him to even imagine; or will he choose to live a life of sin and distance from the God who loves him to have some short-lived "fun"? Man's life must be transformed so that he may be holy and pleasing before God. If he lives a life that is of the world, his life is faulty, adn void of any meaning or purpose at all. He has not found a life that has been planned out for him since before the dawn of creation, the life that is better that anything he could plan out on his own. The man that lives for himself will boast about his accomplishments, his strengths and what he has done- out of his own pride. The man that lives his life before God, in surrender, brokeness and humility will boast about what the Lord has done in him and what the Lord has so graciously allowed him to be used to do, the surrendered man longs to bring glory to the name of Jesus, and not of his own. When a man can be used to bring glory to the name of Jesus, to expand the Kingdom of heaven- then his life is of more value and honor than the man who is well known in the eyes of men for his own talents and what he has done on earth. You're given gifts and talents so that you may respond to Jesus and use them to His glory. Those gifts and talents that God gave us are totally meaningless if not used for His work. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of the Lord lives forever.

Thoughts on Isaiah 61

Isaiah 61:1-3
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."

In effect, what He is describing is the human condition and the need of every man- which is to be fulfilled by Jesus. Every man is in someway poor. We all experience brokeness of heart, we all at one point in our lives are captive to something; every human being without Jesus is a prisoner to sin and the flesh and living in darkness. We all grieve, mourn, have shame and guilt that needs to be erased and healed. Man is desperate for an answer to their problems, and the answer is Jesus- He is the only answer, the only way. This passage is about healing- mentally, emotionally, and well as spiritually and physically. When we come into contact with Jesus a great exchange takes place in the Spirit realm. He gives us everything He has and is- and we are supposed to give Him not only everything we are, but even what we are not. He takes our weakness and gives us strength. We give Him our sin, and He gives us His righteousness. He is willing to give us beauty for ashes, but we must be willing to give up our ashes. We cannot live in the past and press into the future at the same time. Isaiah 61 is a prophesy that was inspired by the Holy Spirit, and was later fulfilled in Jesus. In Luke 4:21, it says, "Today this scripture is fulfulled in your hearing." To fulfill is to make something complete, finished, done with. All of these things were completed and fulfilled by Jesus. No longer is there any reason for us to live in fear, captivity, anxiety or shame- the work of Jesus is done, forever and always. We can live in the fulness of God's love and heart. To live in His favor means that He will bless you even though you do not deserve it, if you put your faith in Him. God wants us to enjoy life and live in His abundance. With His favor, we will walk in right standing before God and men. His people will be symbols "oaks" of strength and righteousness. Standing firm, and planted by God to display His glory.

3.31.2008

Whooo!!!

I have recently developed a mild obsession with country music, its pretty great! I have a bunch of it on my playlist at the bottom of this page, you should have a listen!

Openness and Brokenness

I was reading my sister Mel's blog and talking to her earlier today and realized that I feel the same exact way she does. I do not feel safe of confident in sharing my heart with my immediate family members...for several reasons. She is probably the only one that I can really express myself to and not feel judged, condemned or anything like that. I don't feel like I am all that close with my family, I don't really feel like they know my heart and who I really am and what I stand for. There is only one person in the world that I know that I tell absolutely everything and that is my accountability leader and best friend Aly. She opens her heart to listen to me, to offer her wisdom, insight, and she is the most radiantly beautiful person I know. I tell her everything, and if I don't, I fell bad and it nags at my heart until I do tell her what I am feeling or have done. I share my heart with her and what God is speaking to me and working in me without holding anything back. I wish my family was like that, but it just isn't that way with them. Nobody understands and I don't want to be to vulnerable out of my own fear of rejection...that's something God is working with me on, and I desperately need to change. BUt, for now, the person I love and the only person I can talk to with no secrets is my Aly. Even in this moment I am trying to figure out how to tell her something that is really difficult for me to say, cause I hate breaking her heart and doing things that hurt her, but I must tell her. Anyway, these are my thoughts for the day.

3.29.2008

Heartwork: Uganda

The high school group at my church is in the middle of an inredible project called Heartwork:Uganda. We have been offered by a man at world missions to raise up to $60,000 and he would match every cent. Well, what is this money for? It is to build 4 orphan homes in Uganda. Each home costs $30,000 to build. With this project, we are going to rescue countless children from the horrors of homelessness, disease, and child-traficking. We will rescue thousands of little kids like Adanna (see a few posts earlier.), and make an eternal impact on their lives and on the Kingdom of God. So far, in four weeks, _Tag has given of their heart and lives to raise $43,546.08 - that is amazing! Pray that God will continue to move on our hearts and for the kids and families that will be impacted by this project. That the Kingdom of Heaven, and the justice of the King would reign on this earth. =)

3.22.2008

Lifehouse- Everything Skit

3.21.2008

Adanna's Story

I read this heart wrenching story in the book "Red Letters: Living A Faith That Bleeds" by Tom Davis, and it broke the deepest parts of my heart and opened my eyes to the injustice that is so prevailant in our world today.

“Adanna’s name is a beautiful African word meaning “father’s daughter.” But Adanna won’t live until the next harvest unless something drastic happens. In her home country of Zimbabwe, there are no jobs, there is no money, and the only thing certain is the death that surrounds her.
The expected life span for people in her country is only thirty-three. She has watched her mother, father, and her sister waste away to AIDS. Adanna is now in charge of her family. She is the head of the household.
She is ten years old.
Adanna’s parents left no way for her to care for herself and the rest of her family. She has exhausted every favor from her neighbors, every form of assistance from surviving relatives, and sold her last possession for food. But she and her brother and sister woke up starving again this morning.
There is only on way for them to survive. Adanna has heard about a group of local men who will trade food for sex. Dare she even consider such a thing? For all of her life she has dreamed of someday having a family of her own. She has protected her purity because she wants the man she marries to be the only lover she ever knows. Her mother taught her this.
Adanna’s dreams and her purity mean everything to her, but if she doesn’t eat soon, neither will matter. She will be dead.
Children grow up fast in Africa. She makes a decision. A terrible, necessary decision. She goes to these men. Perhaps they’ll have compassion for her. Perhaps they’ll give her food without asking anything in return. They look at her, they grab her, they fondle her, and they laugh. They refuse to give her food. “Why should we give you anything, you ugly little mongrel?” they shout.
They tell her to go into the back room of the store and wait. She steps into a room that smells of urine and mold. She is shaking. A sickly man is sleeping in the corner.
Suddenly, three men come in drinking and shouting. They approach her not as a human being but as a mere animal. She screams. She cries. Nobody is listening. Nobody cares.
And they steal her dreams.
She leaves with food. Enough to keep her alive. But what kind of life? She has just contracted HIV. She will die of AIDS within three years.”

3.16.2008

HOW HE LOVES!!!!!

This is one of my new favorite worship songs, I first heard it at a friday night Furnace prayer meeting. It is so powerful. It was written by John Mark McMillan...

"How He Loves"
"He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are, and how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
and If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t the have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way... that..

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so

The chords for the whole song are C - Am7 - G - F (if you're a musician!)

If you want to hear the story behind it, check out this youtube video, (be forewarned! you might want to be ready to cry if you're going to watch this video)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Chx6s3qXKt4

How He Loves! God is good!

3.09.2008

Grrr...

That's all. Grrr. I don't even know what to say, I just thought I would say it since I haven't posted in forever. Grrrr. Peace out!

2.28.2008

Funny Story!

(((background info: my sister was a sunday school teacher and when we went to florida she had to teach this lesson about a missionary man. my other sister and I saw the picture and we both agreed that he is drop dead gorgeous...even though he is animated.)))

So last night at _Tag, it was such good times! It was amazing worship with Jared Anderson and Pastor Brent preached a great sermon and was being such a nerd. Anywho, I went upstairs afterwards with my friend Mariah to go see our friend Aly at the visitors reception. We were just standing there and I was like, "Hey Mariah, want to see a really hott guy?" She was like, "Heck yes I do!" So I pull out my journal and open it up to the page with the picture of the missionary I have pasted in it and was like, "There he is." We both laughing histarically, but we agree that he is super hott. Then Aly looks over with that look of 'What the heck is wrong with my girls?!' Anyway, that look on her face and her comment was priceless... "I don't know if I want you two hanging around eachother, it could be hazardous to my health." Yeah, and Mariah was like, "Or your butt." Hahahahahahaha. Oh my gosh, it was sooo funny, I am still cracking up everytime it comes to mind. I love my girls!

2.25.2008

My Top 10 Favorite Jon Egan Songs...

I love the worship team at my church o so very much! Jon is the worship leader at the high school group, _Tag, and it is my personal belief that his songwriting skills are superior to the other members of the Desperation Band. So here are some of my all time favorite songs of his':

10.Endlessly (Album: Who You Are, My Savior Lives)
9. I'll Be O.K. (Album: From The Rooftops)
8. Holy Is The Lord (not on an album!)
7. Light Of Salvation (Album: Everyone Overcome)
6. Here In Your Presence (Album: My Savior Lives)
5. I Will Go (Album: Everyone Overcome)
4. My Savior Lives (ALbum: My Savior Lives)
3. Greater (Album: Counting On God)
2. I Am Free (Album: From The Rooftops, I Am Free)
1. Overcome! (album: Everyone Overcome)

2.22.2008

Friday Fill-ins #60

1. SPENDING TIME WITH PEOPLE is the best thing about traveling.
2. I love a good CUP OF HOT COCOA, BLANKEY AND GOOD MOVIE when I'm cold.
3. I often use THE PHRASE, "OH SNAP", WAY TO OFTEN.
4. I'm reading "THE BARBARIAN WAY" right now; I AM THOROGHLY ENJOYING it.
5. OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS is something I dislike talking about.
6. When I visited CHURCH I most looked forward to seeing ALY .
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to NEW LIFE CD RECORDING AND SLEEP, tomorrow my plans include HIKING AND A SPANISH WOPRSHIP CD RECORDING and Sunday, I want to GO TO CHURCH, THEN GO TO TRIBE MEETING AT CHIPOTLE!

Night Of Worship...

So tonight at my church, New Life Church, we recorded our 6th worship album, "Counting On God." It was absolutely incredible to see close to 9,000 people worshipping King Jesus in unison, as one voice. Anyway, one of the songs by Jon Egan that is called "Greater" really spoke to me. The first part goes:

"Find rest my soul, confess you're weary. Surrender all, embrace your healing."

God was just talking to me about how so many times in our human weakness we try to play everything off as being okay, and we are not willing to admit our weakness and inability to do this life on our own. We cannot go through life trying to succeed on our own, and act as if we are all-powerful and need no help from anybody. We need God more than I can begin to say. We need God to be strength in our weakness. Whenever you are discouraged or faint of heart, turn to God and let Him begin His work in you. The next part of the song says: "I will cast my cares. For You have always cared." Cast every care and concern you have onto the cross of Jesus Christ and His love and power and you will find the strength that you need to make it through. Trust me, I know, when you try to do life alone...you will fail miserably.

"You are greater.
Greater than the fight, that rages for my life.
I have found me rest is in,
You are brighter
Breaking through the night, lighting up my sight
I have seen my rest is in You.

His yolk is easy, His burden is light.
I have decided, I'm gonna fix my eyes.
On the perfector, the author of my faith,
Jesus Christ."

Tag. You're It!

I was tagged by my sister, Mel. I don't know anyone else with blogs, so it you are reading this... then TAG, You're it!

The Rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the next three sentences.

5. Tag five people.

One of the books I'm reading now is "The Barbarian Way" by Erwin Raphael McManus.

"It may seem counterintuitive, but the more civilized we seem to become, the more detatched from the pain of others we end up finding ourselves. The most civilized churches have really no practical concern for people outside of their congregations. The brokenness of a lost and unbelieving world is not enough to inspire the painful changes necessary to make the church relevant to the world in which we live."

2.21.2008

Prayer for the Sterns!

I once again write asking you to pray for Aaron and Josie Stern. They were expecting a little girl, but Baby Bergen passed away on wednesday morning. Please continue to pray for the Sterns as they go through is horrible tragedy and loss. Thank you so very much.

2.19.2008

Misión de mi iglesia!

Adorar a Dios,
Alcanzar a otros,
Dicipularlos y
Enseñarles a hacer lo mísmo.

2.18.2008

My Story of Overcoming...

This is kinda long, but bear with me...

I was born on September 13, 1990 in Washington state. I moved to Colorado when I was 4 years old. On March 29, 1997, my father ran off in the middle of an affair with another woman- without saying a word. It hurt so bad because it was something we never expected- out of the blue you could say. I went on in life, continuing to live as a hurt little girl that was abandoned by her father. When I was in 8th grade, I went on a jv_tag retreat with my church called BE. I got freed from so much there and no longer cared what others thought of me, I would live for God passionately no matter what people said to me. I started going to the high school group at my church, (_TAG). And what can I say, it was so amazing and I loved it. My freshman year my english teacher invited me to be on her fencing team, so without really thinking, I accepted. One thing is that it was on wednesday nights, so I stopped going to _tag. I completely turned my back on God and the church.. everything that had to do with it. I started hanging out with the wrong type of people and let them influence me more than I ever should have. I started watching vulger movies and music, started talking like a sailor, and so much more. I disrespected my elders. I turned to prescription drugs for comfort, and was very much addicted. I said things about God and the people I love that still haunt me to this day. I had a night off, and thought, "Hey , I'll go to _tag, why not? See my old friends..." So I went and I really felt like I needed to go on the winter retreat, (ADORE), thought it would be fun. Little did I know... that it would be the most life changing thing I will have ever done. The saturday night service started out good, but I was having trouble connecting with God the way everyone else was. Pastor Brent talked about how sometimes we build up our own god, one that we can work with and contoure to our lifestyle. I have never been sooo convicted in my life. He called for people that had walked away and needed to get it straight with God. I reluctantly went up... and was pressed on by the voice of the Holy Spirit. I dedicated my life to God that night and have never been the same since. I live with passion, abandon, and full of life. I was delivered from my addiction and bitterness. Jesus had truely become my Saviour and best friend. I was radically changed. That summer I would find out that my father had cancer. I didn't really care, because I was still mad at him for all the pain he caused. I went on, continuing in the life of God. Then, on January 13, 2006... we got a call that said that it was bad and he could die at any time. We made a quick decision that we would drive down to San Antonio, Texas-- where he was living, the next day. I saw him and he poured his heart out to all of us, pleading for forgiveness. It was really good, and really good to have closure and see that he was actually different. Broken, humbled. Then, an April 6, 2006... my father died. It was harder than I ever expected it to be-- knowing that I never had a father there for me and never would. But, I have gotten over it... maybe. In the summer of 2006 I went on a missions trip to Ciudad Victoria, México, with _Tag. It was the most incredible experience I think I have ever had in my entire life. My life was forever changed when the Spirit of God showed up in a little palapa (hut), in México. It was the most power packed God encounted I've ever had. I heard the voice of God speak to me, impressing upon my heart,--"Daughter, this is where I have called you to be. This is your home, where you are needed. You will see thousands of lives changed." My heart beats for the lost and dying people of Mexico and Latin America. It is the very reason that I exist in this world. The love I feel for the Hispanic people is imense, and won't ever burn out. My spanish teacher/pastor/friend put it best. She told me, "Kasey, I think you were born American by mistake because you have a Latin Heart." I couldn't possibly agree with her more. I've got more Latin in me than American. Don't get me wrong, I love America-- but my heart is in other places. So now, I am a senior in high school, and living everyday sold out for God. I want to reach the nations with the message and love of Jesus Christ. This is my story of how God help me overcome. What's yours?

My heart burns!

Wow. I just want to say the I love Jesus with all I am and there is no one like Him, NOBODY! My heart just feels for light and happy because of Him. The gaze of my heart is set on heaven and I don't think it will ever be turned away. I love God and He is the only one for me. I have hope and a future because of the way He has redeemed me, and I adore Him!!!!!

2.16.2008

My Legs Hurt!!! Ugh!

So today was a little bit insane. This morning I got up at 6:00 and headed off to climb the pikes peak incline. We were crunched for time so only made it halfway, then bailed out. Then I felt like doing some more hiking, so I called up my friend Becca and asked if she wanted to go. We were originally going to Cheyenne Canyon, but ended up going to...you guessed it...the pikes peak incline, and made it to the top. If you don't know, the incline is a mile long staircase almost straight up. Then its a four mile run down on Barr Trail.It is a huge workout for the lungs and legs. lets just say that my legs are going to hate me in the morning. I'm a special kind of crazy to do it twice in one day, but it was fun.

2.14.2008

Things I love!

*above all else, JESUS CHRIST...He is my universe!
*warm days in the middle of february
*the sounds newborn babies make
*blankets
*viente vanilla creme at Starbucks
*dancing in the rain
*new music
*the smell of new cars
*kisses from my nieces and "little hispanic sisters"
*hugs from my family and friends
*slapping my friend's butts
*the Furnace prayer meetings
*hiking the incline
*sunrises and sunsets
*walks on the beach
*reading a new book
*writing in my journal
*in-depth discussion with my best friend and small-group leader
*new school supplies
*God-Time!
*learning new, big words
*salsa dancing
*being the only white member of my spanish church
*drawing, even though I suck at it
*singing like nobody is listening
*dancing with reckless abandon before the throne of God
*staying up late and watching movies
*a midnight bowl of cereal
*telling my second-greatest story of how God has transformed my life
*speaking spanish with people
*new clothes
*hot chocolate with marshmallows
*a fresh snow that has been untouched
*fresh cut roses
*yankee candles
*willow tree angels
* a really good laugh that makes your gut hurt
*running...when I actually feel like it
*getting all dressed up and feeling pretty
*being in The Thorn!
*talking about the good times of countless hours of Thorn rehearsals
*my sister's kids
*listening to new music
*cd recordings
*_Tag
*Pastor Brent's sermons, and the facial expressions and jokes he makes.
*David Perkin's passion for God
*screaming the lyrics to "Overcome" with my friends
*jamming out on my guitar
*traveling
*crying on the shoulders of my best friends
*being prayed for and praying over people
*annual pumkin party in november
*seasonal tea parties
*desperation conferences
*landing after a flight and kissing the ground
*the little old Peruvian lady at church that gives me kisses
*calling my spanish pastor Jesus without the accent. Haha!
*when I dont get last place in video games
*throwing snowballs at unsuspecting victims
*when my brother talks like the guy on Shrek
*encouraging words
*reading intilectual books
*watching chick flicks that I've seen 100 times with my sisters
*my mentor/spanish teachor/pastor
*chocolate
*reading my old journals
*mexico!
*plantains
*playing cards at small group
*_Tag retreats are the greatest!
*leading at Jv_Tag retreats
*sitting on the porch on summer nights while talking on the phone
*summer! it's my favorite!
*my cell phone!
*text messages!
*hoodies
*country music
*my sister's art