Openness and Brokenness

I was reading my sister Mel's blog and talking to her earlier today and realized that I feel the same exact way she does. I do not feel safe of confident in sharing my heart with my immediate family members...for several reasons. She is probably the only one that I can really express myself to and not feel judged, condemned or anything like that. I don't feel like I am all that close with my family, I don't really feel like they know my heart and who I really am and what I stand for. There is only one person in the world that I know that I tell absolutely everything and that is my accountability leader and best friend Aly. She opens her heart to listen to me, to offer her wisdom, insight, and she is the most radiantly beautiful person I know. I tell her everything, and if I don't, I fell bad and it nags at my heart until I do tell her what I am feeling or have done. I share my heart with her and what God is speaking to me and working in me without holding anything back. I wish my family was like that, but it just isn't that way with them. Nobody understands and I don't want to be to vulnerable out of my own fear of rejection...that's something God is working with me on, and I desperately need to change. BUt, for now, the person I love and the only person I can talk to with no secrets is my Aly. Even in this moment I am trying to figure out how to tell her something that is really difficult for me to say, cause I hate breaking her heart and doing things that hurt her, but I must tell her. Anyway, these are my thoughts for the day.


Monday through Sunday said...

I love you Kasey! Isn't it good to know that God understands us and knows our loves, dislikes, and is ever patient with us!